even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
