thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
