Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
