There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
