I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I could make wine with my vomit
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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