dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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