I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
