Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
