Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
