She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
