No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
