No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Randomize
