i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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