oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
You smell like stripper and shame
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
