Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
