i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I currently don't understand fingers.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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