I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
