I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
