And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
