There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
