can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
