I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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