Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
