I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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