I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize