I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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