your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
