just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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