You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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