Whod you bang
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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