It's Friday. Sex?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
