so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
