Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
