Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
