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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
