your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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