My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
