she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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