theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
