she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
You left your underwear on the fireplace
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
how drunk are you?
Several
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
