they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
