Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Omg I joined a choir last night...
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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