Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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