I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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