Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
she smelled like a LAN party
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
