i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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