Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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