she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
