You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
