Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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